I got into the office this morning and went to make coffee as I’m usually one of the first people in. When I got to the coffee pot, the burner was still on from the previous day. The pot contained only burnt remains of coffee and a stench that was wholey unpleasant. In order to help with this issue, I drafted the following email and sent it out to the whole company. The message had a favorable response.
From: Hogan Haake [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Friday, February 17, 2012 8:11 AM
To: ALL EMPLOYEES
Subject: Please resolve your personal issues!
Many years ago, during the childhood of one of our fine employees, they were struggling to grow up. Part of their resolution to grow up and be a “big” person was to drink coffee like grownups did. But that employee didn’t realize that coffee was hot, and seriously burned their mouth.
Fast forward to yesterday, that said employee had a flashback of their childhood and got very mad. So they got even with coffee by leaving the burner on for the coffee all night into this morning. That said coffee pot and what was left of the coffee was quite burnt and smelly this morning. Now that you have your revenge on coffee, please turn off the burner in the afternoon when you’re done with the coffee. I think you made your point and coffee will never burn you again!